Despite the comfortable life that I was living in, I realized that I needed to do something about my life, I wanted more out of it. And I felt that I could not do it from where I live (in hindsight, I was probably just burnt out and wanted to get away). Naively, I was running away, towards something that was totally uncertain. I did realize the uncertainty to a certain extend, however, you would not know, or I did not know the depth of it, until you are in it. I was not prepared. I took it lightly. I felt that I have lived in this country for 5 years, and now I was merely going back. To study. Shouldn’t be a problem.
Related: Quarter Life Crisis: Part 1
WRONG! I did not factor in whether or not I’m prepared mentally. The fact that I have had a good 5 years of working life after graduating university, earning money, having a purchasing power, and that I was a somebody, someone! From all those things, to a full-time student, without income (I could not work without permit) and with depleting savings. That took a toll on me. I tried to limit my spending. I will only go out of the house to attend for my classes. Prepare my own food and doggy bag… In comparison, prior to that, I used to go out like everyday, and will literally be at home ONLY to sleep. So did my roommate at the time.
Those social withdrawal, combined with the gloomy weather (tropical country to rain all year round country) depressed me. I lost 10lb without even trying. It always scares me when that happened. I’m not overweight, so if I lose weight drastically, I worry. Halfway through the program, I was contemplating quitting. My argument was, if I quit now, I’ll salvage half of my savings. And whatever I have spent, as sunk cost, or holiday. But after talking to my friends, and my parents who disagree with my decision to go back to study in the first place, I decided to complete the program, and get that piece of paper.
Related: Trip of 2013
Here I am 2 years later, with a full-time job, earning a decent salary (enough for saving and living), paid off my ‘debt’ and preparing for a trip home.
Related: Paid Off My Debt
As they say, it’s always darkest before dawn..